Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
