24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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