11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
