I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
