we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
