1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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