they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
