btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
