Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize