I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
