He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
