i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
