Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
