I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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