I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
