Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
