meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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