so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
