Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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