Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
