i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
