She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
