Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
