butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
