roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
