My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
