I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
