Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
