zippers are such a cool invention
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
