Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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