oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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