Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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