I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
