I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
