Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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(817): View more from Texas

despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

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(845): View more from New York

officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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(503): View more from Oregon

If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.

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(432): View more from Texas

At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba

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