why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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