Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
did you just send me my own nude
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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