i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
