I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
