oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
