Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
