just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
