Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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