either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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