people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Semen is not good for contacts.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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