i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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