After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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