My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
