Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
