quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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