He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
