I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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