WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
