We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
