My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
