True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Everything about him screamed your future.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
