is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize