I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
