I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
