i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
