Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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