"it" just moved
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
