Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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