if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
